In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
