Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
