if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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