i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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