Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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