Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
