The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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