Can i not drive my cunt home
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
