is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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