i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
