i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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