new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
