Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
