Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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