She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
