I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
