So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize