it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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