i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to be your penis for a week.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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