When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
