I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
