I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
