Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well I just put wine in my tea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
