Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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