That's when you crack a 10am beer
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
