he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize