.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
