I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
