that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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