so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
