i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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