The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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