I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
