if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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