"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
