I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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