i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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