so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
