D3 body, D1 cock
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
