from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Houston, we have a squirter
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
