its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
