Will you blow on my dice?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
