Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
