honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
