Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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