I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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