Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
