Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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