i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
