You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
