Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
