It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
