I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
