Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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