apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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